The green green grass of home November 7, 2009

Every Sunday before Raeann came along, we used to get our hands chocolatey-brown with earth, pruning and primping away on our greens. It was our weekly routine, this gardening. I liked to pretend we are farmers on the meadows, waiting for a new leaf to unfurl, a new bud to un-tighten, a new bloom to love. Latte would watch us from the inside, patiently waiting, occasionally squeezing his long snout and velvety nose between the gate grilles.

So now our baby’s here. We still garden, but never quite together. I would water, and he would carry the girl and go, “Baby, this is mint”. Or he would water, and I would carry the girl and go, “Baby, this colour is green.”

I guess, in more ways than one, we still garden together.

Can you imagine Missy Raeann carrying a little watering pot with a cute little spout, watering the greens? It’ll be one that she picks, and I’ll paint little flowers and her name on it.

One day, very soon, we’ll all garden together. Missy, huddy and me. And Latte still patiently watching.

Buzzing around October 23, 2009

Missy Raeann has been busy. She visited Bubbles and Aunty Corsage, and wanted to give her ang ku kueh to sweet sweet Baby Bubbles. A pity she wasn’t as generous to the boys.

It’s always nice to see newborns. And even nicer to see how newly minted mommies glow amidst fatigue.

Missy Raeann with the handsome boys, Nat and Noey @ Bubbles’ one-month party. Photo by Nat’s talented daddy.

With the yummy mummies. And wind in our hair.

And she visited her current favourite place on earth – the library. It’s funny how our little family loves to be around books. The huddy and I dated at Borders, had our wedding pictures taken there (and had so much fun with Gideon shooting there). Now the missy’s into running and squealing at the library. It’s nice, books are nice.

She wants to pull out all the books. The bigger, the better.

Then she played around with Bert and Ernie before her haircut.

Watch me drive Bert and Ernie around!

And today, she joined Kristy at the Little Gym. It’s bring-a-friend day, and we’re honoured to be Kristy’s friend! After bawling her eyes out outside the gym, the missy turned curious and became pleased as peas inside. She even did a few somersaults with the help of Aunty PF and the lovely teacher! I’m so tempted to join the class.

So the darling’s now all knocked out and only gave me a half-hearted kiss tonight.

Good night, my girl.

Roses are pink October 15, 2009

He came back home with flowers for me. In a shade of pink I so love. I like that he never buys flowers from a florist. It’s always from the wholesaler, wrapped in clear plastic. I like them this way, knowing the flowers are fresh and plentiful and cheap and I get to place them in a vase the way I like them – simple, messy, not in a posy.

“My first roses for you”, he says. And yes, it’s true. He usually gets fillers for me. I’m strange this way – the fillers like hypericums, statices, baby breaths, sweet williams and the like are my favourites. But these bright pink roses (fuchsia, he says), I love.

Birthday snapshots October 11, 2009

Origami tulips for the missy from the daddy!

"This tulip is belong to me."

"This tulip is no more."

Crushed tulip from the missy

Duplo's on Mommy's late night bake

The Auyongs

Baby, once you've tasted chocolate, there's no turning back.

Part 1 of my birthday pressie to the missy - happyland!

Blessings, blessings, blessings. Thank you.

. Thank you for dropping by to pass the missy pressies. Thank you for remembering her birthday and sending the sweetest greetings. Thank you for buying her gifts even though we have never met actually.

I can’t say enough thanks.

Thank you for loving Raeann.

When you say nothing at all September 24, 2009

I’ve been tardy on the writing front. No words on the blog, no words in the pretty journal. No words even for Raeann’s little book. No words. We were busy meeting babies and mommies and families and friends (primary schoolmates! bloggers! bandmates! good goblins! gideon! wow!), and at the end of the day, I’m just too fuzzy-brained to create.

While breastfeeding just now, I had a moment to slow down, a moment to myself. I relished in the familiar sights and sounds of the homeland – Latte’s barks, the humidifier puffing out cool white mists like low clouds, the clatter of the ceramic bowls in the kitchen. I told myself I’ve got to blog these down. For what, I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me – the mundane stimulate me. The mundane’s brain-numbing, in a good way.

And then I looked down at the little bub suckling away. Her baby hair, too soft. Her legs, wrapped up snuggly in her jammies. Her long eyelashes forming little shadows on her little face. She’s turning one soon. One year old, you know? One year old, can you believe it? One year old!

I’m praying that she’s not going to blame us for a low-key first birthday. There isn’t going to be any party. No fancy cake. In a reverse fashion, we’re making cards for the folks – this will be our birthday ritual for Missy Raeann. A reminder for her to give thanks to those who have given so selflessly, to those who love her so muchly. We’re going for lunch with the folks, and spending the day out in the sun. I’m baking her birthday cake – nothing pretty, just good old chocolate cake with peppermint frosting, with a few rainbow-coloured candies thrown in for good measure. (I always like my cakes old-fashioned, imperfect-looking – I even like bumps and cracks because they look just so homey.) Daddy’s making her something (it sounds really exciting!), Mommy’s writing her something. We’ve a grand plan to paint her a mural on her wall, though till now, it remains a plan.

An intimate celebration it will be. For our little girl who’s the biggest thing in our lives. She’ll learn what it means to be contented. A sort of peace that is lasting and pure. A gratefulness for things and people that should never be taken for granted.

Taken by D at Elliot's party.

Another one by D.

In the dress lovingly sewn by my lovely mother-in-law

Flavour of the month September 3, 2009

The top is meant for two-year-olds, and the bottom for 3-6 month-ers. Missy Raeann can wear both. Funny how the age guidelines are often so far off from reality.

It was off to Ikea that day. And might I say, it was one of the merriest outings we’ve had. She found delight in every hue and sound. She squealed her loudest when she saw the cuddlies. And she picked her favourite.

As we put it in her trolley seat, she put her head on the toy as if it were her loveley.

It melted me. And the huddy. She is impossibly sweet.

This is her new trick – most endearing. Now she has Pinky Hippy and Buddy to do her ‘hug hug’ trick.

Messy mash August 25, 2009

The huddy whipped up a gourmet dinner for the missy – poached cod with parsnip and pumpkin mash, and a sauce of sorts from the vegetable stock. She was learning how to feed herself, and proceeded to hand-feed the daddy, while this mommy struggled to keep the hands and camera steady. It’s no easy task snapping pictures while laughing and avoiding the orangey mess mash! That night, we both ate what the missy fed us – from the spoon for me, from her hands for him.

How we laughed that night. It’s down on video, and we laugh somemore reliving that night’s dinner on the camera.

If there’s a divine one somewhere up there, thank you. Thank you for blessing me with this perfect little family. Thank you.

Saturday Express August 22, 2009

Some lovely lovely things for this idyllic Saturday:

Missy Raeann with a flower tucked behind her ear.

Glorious warm brownie with vanilla ice cream and pretty trickles of chocolate sauce.

Mango udon wrap with sweet chilli.

Cucumber sticks in wasabi mayo.

Afternoon siesta with the little missy.

A book, a dvd, a hug.

And a diet of chuckles and giggles and tickles.

See how they drift on by August 22, 2009

The rewards of going to work early are aplenty.

We saw the sky doing its thing, allowing the clouds to arrange and rearrange themselves in some random yet spectacular manner.

We saw how the ridiculously neat round of palm trees nodded in the cool morning breeze, gleeful as can be.

And best of all, I got to hold the huddy’s hand before the route to campus became thronged with students.

Perfect ten, Missy Raeann August 10, 2009

Dear Missy Raeann,

You turn ten months old today. I want to tell you so many things, my baby. And before you’re old enough to read Mommy’s scribbled notes in your pocket, I’ll write them in this space so they’ll never turn yellow.

One:: You’re never a great lover of toys, and it’s immensely amusing to see how you take to tissue packets, clean diapers and Tangs publicity flyers instead. You like the laundry too, and more specifically, our undergarments and your little socks and bibs. My perfect little helper.

Two:: Daddy bought you a set of Lego Duplo (the only toy a child needs, he says). This new toy, you like. Maybe it’s the bright smears of colours. Or maybe it’s the clatter of the blocks. You have fun digging around in the box, pulling out a block and giving it to Mommy when I ask for it time after time tirelessly.

Three:: Teething days are here again. This time, the offensive tooth has yet to make its appearance after weeks of drooling. So we give you toothie pegs, which you love, and we loathe. The mess you make! But it’s all good again when you flash that winsome smile. My perfect little two-teether.

Four:: You’re getting increasingly aware of the sights and sounds around you. Today, a car alarm sounded and you turned to me in bewilderment. I smiled and told you it’s okay. You smiled back to let me know you’re okay too. Our neighbour waved hello to you, and you turned to Daddy. Are you looking to us for affirmation already?

Five:: We’ve been doing the high five with Latte, and you seem to like it too. Really, these days are all about party tricks. Bye bye, come, high five, flap flap, feed Daddy, give Mommy – I’m almost reminded of Latte’s puppy days of tricks training.

Six:: This is also the month where you start throwing things down repeatedly just to see the same magic over and over again. Down goes the spoon. Down goes the plate. And down goes my teether too. Mommy, please pick them up so I can throw them down again. Thank you. Oh my little perfect thrower.

Seven:: Peekaboo, you’ve always loved. And you still do. Now you peek and you hide. You love it when we lower your stroller hood so you could peer up at us with wide-eyed eagerness. You like to hide behind the curtains. Oh yes, you LOVE the curtains. Because you love them so much, Mommy so needs to wash them now.

Eight:: Unlike Mommy, you are not a fussy eater at all. At least for now. We love cooking your meals because you take all the wholesome goodness with big mouthfuls. Like this. I can’t quite tell which are your favourite foods, since everything pretty much gets chomped down. You even like the bottled foods. We’re adding pepper, basil and paprika to your food. Rather yummy, if I may say so myself. And there’s no wastage in the homeland, because your dearest gor gor Latte polishes them off the moment you drop any morsel. My perfect little munchkin.

Nine:: My baby, you’re really a waterbaby. We went for a morning swim with Uncle Adrian, Auntie Xinyun and Baby David, right smack in the middle of your scheduled first naptime. Your heavy eyelids weighed down, your eyes barely half the usual size. But in the winking waters, you squealed and you flapped. My perfect little swimmer.

Ten:: You love holding my hand to walk from the bedroom to the nursery to the kitchen to look for Daddy. You don’t like the walker at all, but you walk mighty fine with your one hand in mine. We’re so looking forward to your first independent steps, baby. Then you can finally wear your runners and the mary-janes.

There are times when I still can’t believe I’m a mommy. The surreality still shrouds me strangely. But the pure joy that comes with mommyhood is undeniable, unthinkable even. Missy Raeann, you have given us the most perfect ten months in the homeland. Thank you, my baby. Thank you.

Happy ten, Missy. Mommy loves you. To the moon. And back.

Love,

Mommy

Raeann see, Raeann do August 2, 2009

Yesterday, Missy Raeann picked up the TV remote control and put it to her ear when she saw the huddy talking on the phone with me. She doesn’t do that with any random object, just the remote control.

And today, I was feeding her dinner when the huddy knelt down next to her and pretended he wanted dinner too. Generous Missy Raeann used her mini spoon, picked up some mash and couscous on her plate, and fed her daddy, just like how I fed her. Five baby spoonfuls to a most gleeful daddy before she started to drop couscous all over the floor (to a most gleeful Latte).

Oh, my dexterous, not-so-baby-anymore Missy. Mommy’s so proud of you, baby.

Incredibly cute July 31, 2009

The huddy has an incredibly sweet practice of sending me photos of Missy Raeann on days when I work while he stays home to look after her. I keep my Gmail open the whole day in anticipation of his “Allo Mummy!” mail.

Yesterday, this greeted me.

Edna from The Incredibles!

Tea-ed and Ponyo-ed July 25, 2009

This Friday, we had afternoon tea. Apple crumble for him, apple and blueberry pie for me. With big scoops of vanilla ice cream for him and for me. We read magazines while the missy played with her bib. Later that night, the huddy returned home with a bag of goodies. Pink and red blooms (little flowers for my cute wifey, he says), a black key pouch for me, and Ponyo VCD! On the table sits the fresh flowers now in my milk glass, stems of eaten cherries and pictures of the incredibly cute Ponyo, whom we shamelessly think look like Missy Raeann. Tell me if you think so too!

I so love this cute little family of mine.

Nine months on July 10, 2009

Dear Raeann,

How I love the breath of this month!

Brief interludes of rain amidst the mild sunshine, long conversations in bed, milestones piling up like toy bricks in a bucket. No wonder they say babies grow the fastest. Are you nine months already, my dear?

Nine months ago, the days and nights blurred into loud cries and soft yawns, with Mommy reduced to a translucent slob, drained of colour. But more often than not, confetti moments filled up our days. I remember looking down at your small face, and getting amused by the fine, downy hairs on your forehead (a hairy Auyong, just like Daddy and Mommy!). Over the months, you guzzled down whatever you can suckle, and showed off your double chin in its chubby glory. We used to also laugh at how you cry – more of little girly whines, really.

Nine months on, you have spatters of stains on your rompers, smattering of babbles echoing through the homeland. You go ‘meh meh meh meh meh‘ when you see food. You like to let go of all support and stand on your own, only to fall thud on your bum seconds later. You grab your sippy cup and drink like there’s no tomorrow, with streams of water wetting your cute romper. You sleep faithfully in your crib from 8pm to 7 am, and wake up singing ‘meh meh meh‘. You like to remove your socks, pull them taut, give a pout, then smile.

I laugh so hard, but at the same time, the ache in my heart spread. A big part of me wants you to be a baby always. My baby.

With the nasty H1N1 virus making its way fast and furious on our little island, we’ve been keeping you indoors quite a bit. But you still got to swim, take a stroll in the park (ok, it was for our family photoshoot with Uncle Gideon), enjoy a night’s stay at the Changi Village Hotel for our wedding anniversary. As long as you’ve food and Daddy and Mommy, you’re one happy camper. We so love that about you.

And the way you dawdle without a care in the world. The way you stick your finger out to touch Buddy in the brib. The way you hit your palms on the dining table and go ‘thud thud thud’ when you’re hungry. The way you break into the most cheeky of smiles when you see Gor Gor Latte in the mornings. The way you grab tags on clothes and keep yourself entertained. The way you curl your little fingers round mine when you breastfeed.

You’re my Walt Disney love. A little being woven into my heart. I’m besotted, smitten, head over heels in love with you. Just because.

Happy nine, Raeann. I’m just so blessed you’re mine.

Love,

Your teary-eyed Mommy

*All photos by Gideon Koh*

Three in love July 1, 2009

Photo by Gideon.

It seems so long ago.

Three years ago, I walked down the aisle, my palms wet, and my heart leapt. I wanted to savour the walk as the bride, but I also wanted to run to him and say ‘I do’. Now, I still do.

Three years ago, there wasn’t the conflated terms of ‘mommy’ and ‘wifey’. I was the newly-minted wife, the best friend, the classmate, the colleague, the everything-has-to-be-country-and-pretty one. I still am those, only now I’m also the mommy to our little missy.

Three years of good night kisses. Three years of twiddling the wedding band. Three years of you-cook-I-wash, I-cook-you-wash rituals. Three years of pink walls and brown wood. Three years of freshly brewed coffee in the mornings. Three years of taking turns to water the greens, and competing over whose plants are doing better.  Three years of random song-and-dance in the days and in the nights. Three years of saying ‘I love you’ and meaning it. Three years, three beautiful, magical years of being your missus. (And five years holding your hands.)

Happy three years, dear.

And there’s three of us now. Who says three’s a crowd?

This weekend June 21, 2009

This must be Missy Raeann’s busiest weekend to date.

It started with a double date with the October babies. The mommies had coffee and smoothies, the babies had bites and got all drooly. We were quite a sight, I must say. Till the next date, and I really can’t wait!

Then she went swimming! Finally! She was Little Miss Sunshine that day. Scarlet glow. Big hugs. Infectious chuckles. I expected her to feel clueness, or even afraid, but she was totally cool in the water. Oblivious actually.

Then Daddy came and whisked her away from the float for some much needed exercise after a heavy tea of baby bites, organic rusks and breast milk.

What’s swimming without a taste of the water? She had multiple gulps of the mineral water at the Club. Oh my funny baby.

And we had the most awesome company of Adrian, Xinyun and their Mister David. Every date with this lovely family is delightful. I think of food, laughter, magic (you two know what I mean!) and all things nice and homey. Thank you guys, for yet another great day out.

The missy’s now sleeping, maybe even dreaming, after a fabulous day of photoshoot with Gideon, our wedding photographer turned friend. Sun-splashed afternoon. Inky black hair. Pulled-out socks. Almond-shaped eyes. Pooping in Canopy.

I’m so blissed out.

And so tired.

Just another day June 4, 2009

I opened the door this morning to a surprisingly balmy weather. Hello June.

So today we decided to stay home. I couldn’t take anymore of Missy Raeann in my pouch. She has taken such a strong liking to it, she wouldn’t sit in her stroller. My back, my back.

I let myself ooze into the couch while the huddy and the baby take an afternoon siesta. Outside, the children in the playschool are singing. Our cream sheer curtains move like gentle waves in the light June breeze. Latte watches me, then nods off to sleep under the white wicker bench.  With a mug of icy cold lemonade (with grapefruit pulp!), a cranberry cream cheese bun and a thick novel, I’m having just about the perfect home-day.

Tell me, what makes your day at home?

It’s in the little things June 3, 2009

Tonight::

Missy Raeann’s sleeping sweetly with Buddy, her new Goldie stuffie from Ikea that she picked out herself. I watch Marley and Me, with Latte at my feet. He presses his nose to mine as I sob streams of hot tears with twisted knots in my tummy. What a tremendous relief that I’m watching this at home and not at the theatre. Then the huddy returns with a warm lava chocolate cake and a punnet of vanilla ice cream. And a most touching text message that made me tear.

Nights like this heal even the most battered of souls.

Good night.

Missy Raeann Look-alike Meter May 29, 2009

Taken from Amanda’s. It’s fun!

The huddy, missy and I are all down with cough and cold. For a few nights, we’ve been tossing and turning, with the missy fussing. We’re getting better, but for now, we’re staying home. Not the best of days, but we’ll manage.

Can’t stop smiling May 22, 2009

This week is so full of confetti. Five lovely, lovely things I absolutely have to post-it::

1. The little missy crawls! For more than a month, she has been able to stand up on her own with some support. Then three weeks ago, she learnt to sit up from the lying position. Now, she does the full works, and even leopard-crawls when lured. Gadgets get her moving the quickest. She’s there in a heartbeat.

2. She sprouts her first pearly white, and she doesn’t bite! Maybe, she just hasn’t. But I would love to think she would never.

3. The first significant pay after my maternity arrives, and I shopped for loads for goodies. Just one thing for me, and everything else for everyone else. It beats spending on myself, really.

4. This afternoon, I watched the missy play with my mommy. Their eyes bright, their smiles brighter. For some reason, I felt like crying.

5. I’m going on a date with the huddy tomorrow. I’ll wear the earrings that jingle jangle when I walk and when my head bobs. I’ll wear my vintage blue-white swirly sundress. I’ll hold his hands. I’ll buy him ramen. I’ll miss my Raeann, but I know we need this break so. I’m thrilled.

Have a beautiful weekend, my friends.