Snapshot on rainy days August 26, 2008

• The after-drizzle air smells of fallen wild fruit, and I’m liking the slight breeze on my skin. But it’s bad news for Latte boy, who can’t have his regular jogs with the huddy. To make up for his loss of exercise, we hide his toys and make him search the homeland for them. The clever boy knows all the names of his toys, which still amazes us to no end. Proud parents, we are.

• The huddy’s got a new toy and he’s quite contented to have the rain for company for the next couple of days. He’s one very happy man now, I must say.

• It’s strange how I’m getting cravings all over again. Today’s fudgy chocolate cake, which I hope to be able to bake tomorrow, unless there’s a new craving. One thick slice with a cup of English Breakfast. And a good read. And more drippy weather.

• My feet are sore from the shopping for Raeann (short trips only, really!). Nothing that I own seems to be able to support my weight these days. There must be pretty, reliable, affordable shoes out there that can take the walking. Ladies, any suggestions?

• The last week before the new term begins. It’s all about friends, food and flowers (the duranta plant is blooming again!)

like a whirlwind. i love how vendors become friend… June 27, 2006

like a whirlwind. i love how vendors become friends. how good friends become sisters. how buddies become lovers. how strangers becomes relatives. how an empty house becomes a home. we are now two happy people living happily in a happy home. where we dont have to fight over the lazy chairs, housework gets done with dick lee in the background, and two empty rooms mean higher potential for country knick knacks invasion. we cant say enough thanks to our folks who helped us in all sense of the word. my good goblins who tell me they love me. the late night hangouts at gideon’s pad. it’s probably the best time of my time. so busy, but so contented. these few nights, i watched him fall sleep. i wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him i love him. but i left him alone, and did all that in the next morning. like a dream. candy-coated dream in rainbow-coloured sky.

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the one with the photoshoot June 13, 2006

it’s so fun i cant bear it to end. but end it did, and end it must. top ten moments, on playback mode.

1. i caught that gaze, that wistful gaze. the gaze that made me feel beautiful, cherished, loved. the tender moment that belonged to us and us only.

2. gideon told me to look edgy at the water tank. i gave a huh and burst into laughter. i am no tyra banks. but i would like to pretend i was chic kathleen on america’s next top model. it worked. edgy. me.

3. at borders, i recalled how we made up excuses to go borders just to spend an hour more with each other till twelve midnight. the images before me were more nuanced than ever before. we sneaked around, snooped around. gideon’s so amazing we couldnt imagine having another photographer. and we couldnt stop laughing at our impromptu scripts. love story on paperback fiction.

4. the sun was well-behaved. he held my hand and led me down the pebbly sand. no glorious sunset, but a queer piece of cloud kept us company.

5. i’m a diva on a dime. fussed around time after time. i’m loving it.

6. he was drenched through, my dear one. he remained a cool cucumber. how i love that about him.

7. little portsdown was unimaginably charming. colonial flats with a character so unlike others. our tulips with ivy leaves and running twigs gave that extra touch. besides the meow and the mozzies, everything was lovely beyond lovely.

8. i couldnt stop laughing. and when i eventually did, he snored in my ear and made me crack up again.

9. it’s a wrap, not a rat. even if there were, it’ll be a cute little rat. like yoga.

10. oh buko nero. we had a quiet moment to ourselves. probably the most reflective moment i had in the day. the moment that brought me back to the day i said yes to this amazing man holding my hand.

tonight i’ll sleep well. like i would write in my primary three composition, i am tired but happy.

the one with the reflections June 6, 2006

the impending wedding brought out the best and worst in us. when a good thing comes along, memories have a propensity for attaching themselves to it. when a bad thing invades, i like to have them drizzle straight through my brain. not insignificant, not unabsorbed, but i would rather remember how we grow from the bad invasion. and so we will. all the moolah. the late night. the morning hugs. the i-love-you-s. he says we can probably win the most loving grandparents award thirty years down the road. with wrinkly hands, fingers interlocked, down bishan park. he says i’ll be a loving old lady, and he a grumpy old man. it’s funny. not true, my dear. you’ll be the bestest old man, with the loveliest eyes, and the warmest touch. and the hottest temper. fiery hot, but endearingly so. and me, probably still the stubborn girl you know and love unconditionally. thank you.

the one with the email June 2, 2006

i couldnt resist smiling at the email of blessing. it’s sweet, the way someone shares in your joy in the most sincere way. thank you, i thank you, ms o. so i shall not start whining about how much work there is to do on a sing-song golden friday, but i shall remind myself of the date later with the babe at work. this weekend, i want to buy myself a cranberry orange muffin and ice chocolate with skimmed milk and laugh at his childhood photos. i’ll show him my ugliest ones and tell him i am the prettiest ugly duckling he can get. when no one is looking, i’ll throw my arms around his neck and see myself in his bright happy eyes. good goblins’ gathering this sunday, where all things funny and mean get told and retold. i cant quite wait.

the one with the sorry May 29, 2006

i was forgiven but i cant forgive myself. it’s an emotional hiccup that will probably stay with me for a long while. meanwhile, i continue to bask myself in the love i dont know if i fully deserve. side dishes – country kitchen, brownie living room, chocolate bedroom checked. it’s splendid, the way things are turning out thus far. this is a season i will miss so, for all kinds of reasons. i am happily busy, and busy being happy. but i know i have even more marvellous things awaiting me. last night, i hugged my bolster close to me, teared a little like a fool.

a few good things. biopolis lunch was cheesy, chat… May 24, 2006

a few good things. biopolis lunch was cheesy, chatty, hearty. i like the folks at work honestly. there’s something about shared labour that brings people together. a feeling that warms and comforts in the high tides. tomorrow’s munching with reg, and next week with lilsnooze i hope. hypericums’ downing a whole lot of water. and the little bubbles look like fizzy soda in a vase. cute. tomorrow evening is gown fitting and i cant even begin to describe how excited i am to know i’m getting closer to donning the white gown, holding your big hand down the aisle. dear lili’s day is drawing closer, and i’m holding back the big hug i have ready for her. she deserves the biggest, my friend. on the next note, furniture hunting is nothing short of exhilarating. i’ve come to accept the fact that we cant afford to splurge on the hyacinth sofa, but it still makes me smile a little. all i need to do is to close my eyes and mentally place it by the window. imaginations off the leash, and yakult will be tearing at the hyacinth. roll yakult roll. leave yoga alone. and dont eat up my ericas.

a few not-so-good things. crafting outcomes is not a good thing to do after a fabulous lunch. gathering with the goblins is postponed. pimples keep popping and reddening and uglyfying whatever’s pretty left of me. i have a blister from the yellow-green shoes with a satin cream ribbon. sweet shoes give you the ugliest blisters, which then make them less sweet, but you still love them to bits. and people just dont get it that my name is yu in the second tone. it’s much nicer when pronounced correctly, believe me.

it’s mid-week. a light day with good sunshine. a light-hearted me. a beautiful feeling to behold.

the one with the wedding present May 17, 2006

it’s all good. i got my appetite back after the dreadful body aches and fever. someone told me at the printer today that i looked good in my glasses. red and confident and all corporate-like in a friendly fashion. my grecian wedding gown flattered me more than i can ever imagine. for that moment, i felt like a greek goddess radiating with love bliss. the dear one said his heart beat a beat faster. that glance. that smile. that embrace. i knew you loved the creation as much as i did. kim is my goddess! the wedding bands were more perfect than perfect. i love your touching message. i love the baby script. i love the design we took a risk on. i was enthralled with the blessings from the fairies. and today, the lovely, loving soul sent me my wedding gift. this love. it’s scary. it’s powerful. it’s tremendous. it’s intense. it’s enveloping. it’s amazing how things just seem so right. it’s too many good things all at once. i want to keep them in my pocket, drizzle my brain with memories, sleep.

the dear one said a little prayer at our little b… May 10, 2006

the dear one said a little prayer at our little barn today. all i had to do is to say amen. i did. and we hugged. a momentous moment that got us just a little teary.

the one with the getting of keys May 9, 2006

anticipation is sweet. it tingles, it warms. come tomorrow at 9 am, we will be the proud owner of a lovely barn. there will be a platform with soft cushions tossed in a random fashion that thrills me so. the wall would be the soft red of a tomato. actually not quite so, but i like the idea of likening my wall to a wonderful fruit. flowers would pepper the barn, like the wild countryside. i’ll move in my wicker chair and buy a leather one for the dear one just so he wont frown at my dirty wicker darling. we’ll make the barn child-safe, pooch-safe, so that baby travis and yakult can roam the grounds in glee. at night, there would be the shawdowy outlines of vases on my dresser. vases with small purple blossoms. lavendar would be nice. i’m into corrinne may now. so she will keep us company tonight while we dream sweet dreams about tomorrows.

the one with the erica from south africa April 4, 2006

the dear one delivered flowers to me today. erica from south africa he says. i would like to believe i could be a florist’s wife someday because he chose, cut and arranged the fushcia flowers and lush green leaves himself late last night. If we had it our way, our flowers would be small. petite blossoms that deserve the limelight in their own right. i wish i could taste colours. would purple taste like grape? or like blueberry? a glorious colour like purple should taste heavenly. fushcia would have a refreshing taste. and they would be strawberry-scented, just the way i love it. Under the blossoms’ spell, everything seems imbued with a beauty richer than normal. and when it’s from the dear one, lovely is an understatement. you make me feel erica.

the one with the mixed friday March 31, 2006

i found a kitty sticker on my sole this morning. dear travis loves shoes, loves stickers, and i think he loves me too. tonight, i’ll squeeze him tight and tell him yi yi hates kitties. give me anything else anytime.i was looking forward to today. because it’s a friday. because fridays are happy days. because saturdays come after fridays and saturdays are always mocha-scented days. because today’s the first time we are eating together as a family away from that cheena restaurant with aunties shoving their elbows into my face and fish only as nice as the ones i cook cost 60 bucks. there is always a reflexive lift in spirits when fridays make their grand entrance. if only you were not going, this friday would still be magical. i dislike goodbyes. especially to someone like you. we’ll meet again. and again. and again.

yesternight, the dear cousin delivered me news of happiness, of hope. sometimes, it’s really all it takes. L-O-V-E. the love that pushes you to take the plunge. it’s not about dipping the toes in to test the temperature. it’s about diving into the deepest coldest end of the pool because he says he’ll be there with you. whatever will be, will be. i’m glad you found him. i really am.

and tomorrow is our first HDB appointment. a baby step in action, a quantum leap in our lives. will it be a golden morning tomorrow? i think it will be. fly me to the moon.

the one with the nasty comment March 17, 2006

the mummy is coming home tonight. i’ve missed her and i hope the talk would not end late because i know she would not like coming home to an empty house without anyone to share her travelling tales with. i must rush home to mummy.the fairies at the inc greatly inspire. and i aspire. to take the plunge and be out there. it’s like a free-floating form of desire that overwhelms me and pushes my goosepimples out from within. they say it’s a happy industry. and they are happy seeing happy people doing things that make them happy. it’s intangible yet so tangible all at the same time. i’ll give myself the time to earn my keeps, to learn and contribute in my no-less meaningful industry. someday i’ll be out there. smiling at you from within so you’ll smile too.

so i must sing happy tunes and dream happy dreams. i’m a firm believer that happiness is doubled when shared. negative energy should be channelled elsewhere. or kept within. lovely ones who have posted and/or smsed to tell me you love what you see, i thank you. happy am i. because i have you and you and you and you and you and many yous.

the one with the tired me March 14, 2006

that sight of you makes my steps feel like skips. and today, i licked chocolate off my fingers and lips. it’s happy you and happy me.

and the fairies at the inc made me love being a bride. i forgot i was exhausted at work. and i found my heart beating a little faster. i need to be, i want to be. and that’s where i will be.

the one with the flat update… February 8, 2006

we viewed, we liked, we talked, we bought, we signed, we got.

yes, the first hdb appointment is on 1st april. joke it is not, money that’s a lot.

sometimes things can happen so fast you feel all adult and afraid. i need to slow down and breathe in the way a 25-year-old should. then i’ll start buying soft pillows to toss around. there’ll be a closet that will creak in different but familiar ways everytime i open it. i’ll throw in a few dewberry wooden balls so that i’ll smell like fresh dewberry every morning. and for the next few months, i’ll talk country, eat country, breathe country. so that he’ll finally love it too.

it’s sweet. we shared, whenever possible. money, and the lack of it. it’s tight, so very tight. but it’s still sweet, because it’s shared.let’s never stop falling in love.

the one with the first day of new year January 29, 2006

i woke up feeling like a cocktail. i relish the feeling of nothing to do, of all time to spare. but i miss the feeling of festivity. i got up, drank a cup of nice cold ice intense nescafe, two slices of toasted bread plain just the way i like it, one pineapple tart, one pineapple ball, and a teeny weeny slice of barbequed pork from the dear one because i’m on a not-so-strict-but-typical-bride diet. i watched two episodes of sex and the city, and switched it off because two episodes of carrie and samantha and miranda and charlotte were just too much for this wholesome little brother of mine who was playing maplestory just behind me. now, i’m waiting for the dear one to bring me to his folks. last year as a collector, next year a giver i will be. come next new year, i will buy pretty ang baos to put our blessings in. maybe i’ll make my own ang baos. designed with love by yours truly. if all goes well, it’ll be a quirky ang bao containing all traditions infused with whimsical frills and frou. all loved ones get one. and tomorrow i will meet her and feel all spirited and sprightly because i am loving it all as a happy bride in this happy season.it’s a happy new year.

the one with dodi & kasie January 5, 2006

our potential photographer charmed us with two pretty pooches at his plush place. alliteration intended. i cant even begin to describe how right it feels. i have never gone to a house, and experienced the ‘dang’ that shows the dear one in his nike tee and 81 berms and proudly showing off his cement wall with our wedding photo montage. very right. his works convinced us, his mannerism won us, his house awed us, his dogs wowed us. photographer search is likely to end sooner than i thought. wham bam bam.

this endearing sheltie called kasie is a precious gem. she sheds seasonally, and is as docile as a lamb. this manja one called dodi is one affectionate pooch. i’ll run my finger down the oblique line of his body, and he’ll stay by my hand, warming it.

and when you have a soft spot for all things called shelties, you just cant get her off your mind. when we get one, we’ll have a room for her. i’ll fill her basket with purple cushions for a warm snuggle. the dear one says he’ll allow her to roam freely in our cove. the au yongs’ bed is out of bounds, he says. but when she’s naughty and decides to warm our bed, i’ll pass her hair off as mine. because on good days, the dear one will just pat us both on our small heads and laugh like a king.

good things happened altogether yesterday. and it wasnt even a friday.

the one with blue ginger January 4, 2006

blue ginger, i love love love. i’m bursting with ideas, ching-a-ching! letty is my goddess. now, i must say goodbye to the fairies at the inc. the fairies with impeccable service. fairies fly above canaries. someday, maybe someday, i will be the elf out there who makes all brides rosy and happy. i’m one very very very delirious bride right now.

the one with the 6 months later January 1, 2006

six months later, we will put on the bands we co-designed. i will walk down that aisle in the grecian gown i designed. hopefully i will not trip. but if i do, i’ll laugh and make you laugh as well. i want to enjoy that walk on the petals, but i cant wait to join you on the other end and say i do too. maybe i’ll just breathe, tuck in that tummy, look at you looking at me, and smile the way i always do. i know you like it when i smile. you’re right. that’s no definitive moment when we fell in love. you just know it. to the man who has been pouring sunshine into my life – it’s the first day of the year, & i want to tell you i love you dear…

the merry-making just gets merrier when there a… December 27, 2005

the merry-making just gets merrier when there are 6 pairs of hands in the kitchen, working their way around since 4pm to 7.30pm, and the palettes get their treats moments later. not your conventional christmas fare, but just as fancy, if not more. it’s a blooming flower, finger-licking good crabs, unstoppable feasting, peppered with many many awwws and wowwwws. i love.

and there was a braun toothbrush, a picnic basket of all things strawberry and merry, and a girl who says i still do. and there were tears. it’s difficult holding them back when surprises are wrapped and hidden and so full of love and more love. i feel a tug of the same old tremulous affection that just overwhelms me. nei is a beautiful word to say. i do i do i do. also, these days, there’ll be more actionsampling because i say so. because it’s my christmas gift to him to make us the coolest lomo-lovers around. action, blended with goofy bright grins. our love life.

just today, i dreamt about my wedding day. i woke up, turned around to him, face still creased with sleep, said, “i’m a bride”. oh yes, i am going to be. sometimes, you know before you know.